<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>i want to teach you a lesson (in the worst kind of way) by softirwin</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23568280">i want to teach you a lesson (in the worst kind of way)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/softirwin/pseuds/softirwin'>softirwin</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>5 Seconds of Summer (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>M/M, high school au...BUT THEY'RE TEACHERS</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 19:42:42</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,633</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23568280</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/softirwin/pseuds/softirwin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“Who’s that, sir?” Lily asks, jabbing at the window. </p><p>“The new PE teacher,” Michael says.</p><p>“He’s cute,” Sarah says, and a couple of the girls nod vigorously.</p><p>“He’s also twice your age,” Michael says. “Go on, off to your practice rooms.” The girls groan, but one by one pull themselves away from the window and start to wander off. Michael stays by the window, one eye on the girls to make sure they actually go where they’re supposed to and one eye on the new PE teacher, who’s dividing the class up into groups and handing out footballs. He is kind of hot, Michael supposes, if you’re into muscular guys who are clearly good at sports. Which Michael most definitely is.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Luke Hemmings/Ashton Irwin, Michael Clifford/Calum Hood</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>34</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>148</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>i want to teach you a lesson (in the worst kind of way)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>me writing a 5.6k fic in 4 hours when i have 2 essays, a presentation, my entire dissertation, an oral exam, coursework, and a german exam looming over me? it's more likely than you think</p><p>thank u <a href="http://5sosnsfw.tumblr.com">jex</a> for listening to me scream about this for the past 4 hours and always being so encouraging and sweet and making every single day brighter </p><p>this is based off a prompt i got in uhh 2014 i think...whoops...it does not matter how slow you go as long as you do not stop and all that </p><p>as ever pls talk to me on <a href="http://calumcest.tumblr.com">tumblr</a> xo</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Michael Clifford loves his job. </p><p>Sure, the staff room politics can get a bit exhausting (although Michael would be lying if he didn’t admit to loving all the drama he wasn’t personally involved in), and the kids can drive him up the fucking wall, but at the end of the day, there’s nothing he’d rather be doing than teaching. </p><p>Except today. Today, when a good portion of 10C has somehow exploded into an argument over whether or not Julia snatched a guitar when Sam was about to take it, he thinks he’d rather be a human guinea pig for infectious diseases, or something. It probably pays better, anyway.“Sam,” he says sternly, and he turns to look at Michael, anger written all over his face. “There are plenty of guitars in the cupboard. Let Julia have that one.”</p><p>“But <em> sir</em>, that’s the only one which-” </p><p>“I don’t care,” Michael says, holding up a hand, because he’s perfectly aware that it’s the only guitar which stays in tune longer than thirty seconds. He’s been begging for a budget increase since the day he joined the school. “It’s one lesson, it’s not an exam, you can deal with it for forty-five minutes.” </p><p>“But Mr Clifford-” Lucy pipes up, ready to defend Sam. </p><p>“No, Lucy,” he says firmly. “I want all of you in the practice rooms, now.” Sam glares at him furiously and stomps off without an instrument in his hands, Lucy and Pip running behind him to one of the practice rooms outside the main classroom. Michael decides he’s got enough on his plate without inserting himself into hormonally-charged teenage drama, so he lets them go, rounding on Noel and Olivia, who are still arguing with Julia, Brandon hovering awkwardly nearby. </p><p>“I don’t want to hear anything else about this,” Michael cuts in, and Noel and Olivia round on Michael instead. </p><p>“Sir, she <em> stole </em> it from-”</p><p>“He was <em> about </em> to pick it u-”</p><p>“I don’t want to spend my lunchtime in detention, and unless you two do I suggest you get your instruments and go to your practice rooms,” Michael says curtly, trying to refrain from pinching the bridge of his nose in annoyance. He’s getting a stress-induced headache already, and it’s the first lesson of the day. </p><p>“Fine,” Olivia spits, full of the kind of melodrama only a fifteen-year-old can summon, and Michael tries not to roll his eyes as they stalk off to one of the practice rooms at the back of the classroom without so much as another glance in his direction. He’s pretty sure he hears one of them mutter <em> fuck you </em> under their breath as they walk away, and he feels momentarily bad before he remembers they’ll have forgotten about it by their next lesson. </p><p>“Don’t do it again,” is all he says tiredly to Julia, who nods meekly, and scampers off to join her group in one of the other practice rooms at the back of the classroom. That being sorted, Michael turns back to the rest of the class, to find about eight of the girls gathered at the window, chattering excitedly. </p><p>“That doesn’t look like composing a short piece on three instruments to me,” he says, wandering over, and a bunch of the girls look back at him with a look of excitement on their faces. </p><p>“Who’s that, sir?” Lily asks, jabbing at the window and leaving a mark. Michael peers over their heads to see a distant figure standing on the field with a class that looks like it might be 7A. All he can make out is that it’s a guy, with what looks like a mess of dark brown hair and a couple of tattoos on his (very muscular, Michael notes with approval) arms that he’s waving around, clearly explaining something. </p><p>Michael vaguely remembers Paula, the headmistress, saying something about a new PE teacher starting this week, but he’d been too busy whisper-explaining to Luke why Magic: The Gathering was a <em> great </em> game and he should definitely play it with Michael to remember what she’d said the guy was called. </p><p>“The new PE teacher,” he says, hoping they won’t ask what he’s called.</p><p>“He’s cute,” Sarah says, and a couple of the girls nod vigorously.</p><p>“He’s also twice your age,” Michael says. “Go on, off to your practice rooms.” The girls groan, but one by one pull themselves away from the window and start to wander off. Michael stays by the window, one eye on the girls to make sure they actually go where they’re supposed to and one eye on the new PE teacher, who’s dividing the class up into groups and handing out footballs. He is kind of hot, Michael supposes, if you’re into muscular guys who are clearly good at sports. Which Michael most definitely is. </p><p>Huh, he thinks, pushing himself away from the window and heading to the first practice room to make sure Noel, Olivia and Brandon have calmed down a bit. Sarah’s kind of right.</p><p> </p><p>------- </p><p> </p><p>Michael has a free period fourth period, and even if he usually wouldn’t be seen dead on the field, it’s a beautiful day, and it <em> is </em> on the route to the staff room. Well, it’s on <em> a </em> route to the staff room, at least, and if that route happens to be five minutes longer than simply walking through the building and over the quad, then Michael doesn’t need to know about it. He could do with the exercise, he tells himself. It’s nothing to do with the new PE teacher. </p><p>When Michael gets down to the field, the PE teacher’s gathering up the footballs from the previous lesson and stuffing them in the big netted bag that’s been threatening to break for about five years. He turns around after picking up the last one and spots Michael (who is <em> definitely </em> not staring) cutting across the top part of the field. He raises a hand, and Michael’s not really sure if he’s waving or telling him to get the fuck off the field, but then he’s gathering the bag in one hand and jogging over, and Michael’s absolutely not watching the lines of his muscles as he makes his way over. </p><p>“Hi!” the guy says, grinning widely, and fucking hell, he’s even hotter up close. He’s got dark brown eyes, crinkled at the corners with the brilliant smile currently gracing his full lips, and his dark hair is curled, falling into his face slightly. “I’m Calum. Calum Hood. I’m new.” </p><p>“I’m Michael Clifford,” Michael says. “I’m not.” He curses inwardly as soon as the words have left his lips - he should be legally restricted from talking to hot guys, honestly - but Calum laughs, <em> laughs</em>, and it’s not fake, if the twinkle in his eyes is anything to go by. </p><p>“I gathered,” he says. “So, what do you teach?” </p><p>“Music,” Michael says. “You’re PE?” Calum nods. </p><p>“Music’s my second, though,” he says. </p><p>“Oh?” Michael wants to die. Of course hot PE guy can teach <em> Music</em>, of all things. He was literally crafted by God to upset Michael. </p><p>“Yeah,” Calum says, with a smile. “I mean, I’m sure I’m nowhere near as good as you, but I play guitar, and a little piano. Bass is my real love, though.” </p><p>“Bass?” Michael says, trying his best not to imagine Calum’s long fingers flying across a fretboard. </p><p>“Yeah,” Calum says. “I played in a band, for a bit, but, y’know.” He gestures at himself. “Clearly didn’t work out.” </p><p>“That’s pretty fucking cool, though,” Michael says, genuinely impressed. “And hey, bassist to secondary school PE teacher is an upgrade.” Calum laughs. </p><p>“Fuck you, man,” he says, but he’s grinning, and Michael feels a warmth spreading from his toes to his cheeks. “Hey, are you heading to the staff room?” Michael nods. “Mind if I tag along? I’m still finding my way around.” </p><p>“Sure,” Michael says, shrugging and hoping it conceals the fact that he kind of wants to turn back to the safety of his music room and bang his head on the wall until he forgets someone as perfect as Calum Hood exists on the same planet as him. </p><p>“Sweet,” Calum says, beaming at him as he holds up the bag of footballs. “Let me just lock these in the shed and I’ll be right with you.” </p><p>Yeah, sweet, Michael thinks, as Calum turns on his heel and jogs away from Michael over to the tiny shed in the corner of the field which houses all the outdoor equipment. Not like Michael’s already head over heels in love, or anything. </p><p>Sweet. </p><p> </p><p>------- </p><p> </p><p>Calum’s officially introduced in the staff room at lunchtime on his first day, but Michael has lunch duty on a Monday so he misses it. Luke and Ashton tell him Calum’s a big hit in the staff room, “really charming, and have you <em> seen </em> his arms?”, which just puts Michael in a bad mood, because he now has competition. </p><p>It’s three days before Michael bumps into Calum again, in his free second period, which he’s spending catching up on all the marking that was due, like, two weeks ago and is still unfinished. </p><p>“Hey, Michael!” Calum says cheerfully, sitting down opposite Michael at the desk that he’s entirely covered with a careful class-organised system of marking. “Oh, shit, are you busy?” </p><p>“No,” Michael says immediately, because what’s his job compared to conversation with the hottest guy in Australia? “What’s up?” Calum shrugs. </p><p>“Just wanted a chat,” he says. “Haven’t seen you in a few days. You been hiding from me?” His eyes are twinkling as he says it, and it makes Michael’s stomach flip, because it’s pretty friendly for a guy he’s met once. If Michael were anyone else, he would say Calum might almost be flirting. Maybe Calum’s just like that, though. Maybe it doesn’t mean anything. </p><p>“Been catching up on marking,” Michael says, indicating all the papers on the desk. “I’m literally going to stop setting homework, I swear to God.” </p><p>“Can’t say I relate,” Calum says, with a grin. “Perks of being a PE teacher.” </p><p>“Yeah, but you have to deal with, like, concussions, and shit,” Michael says, capping his pen. </p><p>“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, and all that,” Calum says breezily, and Michael snorts. </p><p>“Typical PE teacher,” he says. “I could have had my leg cut off and my PE teacher would have made me keep running.” Calum smirks. </p><p>“Well, you have another leg, don’t you?” he says, and laughs when Michael scowls. “I’m kidding. I’d let you do push ups instead.” Michael rolls his eyes, but he’s grinning. </p><p>“How generous,” he says. Calum grins back at him, and Michael’s heart does a fucking backwards somersault, or something ridiculous. </p><p>“That’s what you get for saying PE teacher is an upgrade from bassist,” he says. </p><p>“Hey, that’s just the natural order of things,” Michael says. “It’s not <em> my </em> fault bass is at the bottom of the musical food chain.” </p><p>“What’s music without the rhythm section?” Calum says, stretching, and Michael tries his best not to stare at the sliver of skin that’s exposed under his shirt. </p><p>“Acoustic?” Michael offers, and Calum huffs out a laugh, bringing his arms (and shirt, Michael thinks wistfully) back down. </p><p>“Fuck,” he says agreeably. “Guess my band could have carried on without me.” </p><p>“What kind of music did you play?” Michael asks. Calum shrugs. </p><p>“A bit of everything,” he says. “We started on All Time Low, Fall Out Boy, that kind of a thing, got more Radiohead and Tame Impala vibes as we went on.” Jesus Christ. Michael has literally died and gone to heaven, because there is absolutely no way a man <em> this perfect </em> exists anywhere other than in Michael’s imagination. </p><p>“Mate, I fucking love All Time Low,” Michael says, and a smile unfurls on Calum’s lips. </p><p>“Have you heard their new album?” </p><p>“<em>Yeah</em>,” Michael says. “Fuck, Monsters? What a fucking tune.”</p><p>“Right?” Calum says enthusiastically. “And Basement Noise?” </p><p>“Fucking sick,” Michael agrees. </p><p>“You’ve got good taste,” Calum says approvingly. Michael opens his mouth to say something - <em> you’re just saying that to get in my pants </em> is on the tip of his tongue - but he’s interrupted (or possibly saved from eternal embarrassment) by Ashton sitting down heavily next to him. </p><p>“Hey, Michael,” he says, throwing a dimpled smile in his direction. “Hey, Calum.”</p><p>“Hey, Ashton,” Calum says. “How’s the Year 10 clay project coming along?”</p><p>“Oh, you know,” Ashton says, leaning back in his seat and pushing his curls out of his face. “Two busts have been decapitated so far, so we’re doing pretty well, all things considered.” </p><p>“Nice,” Michael says approvingly. </p><p>“I know you’re talking about the decapitations, Mike, you don’t fool me,” Ashton says knowingly. Michael scowls. </p><p>“Was it Sam?” he asks, needing to know who to high-five in his next lesson.</p><p>“No, Noel,” Ashton says. </p><p>“10C? Short kid, really fucking fast?” Calum asks. Michael shrugs. How is Michael supposed to know how fast he is? It’s not like Noel’s Naruto running through the music room. </p><p>“Yeah,” Ashton says, because apparently Noel’s Naruto running through the art room. </p><p>“He’s really fucking good with a ball,” Calum says, and Michael bites back an awful innuendo with a lot of difficulty. Not in front of Ashton, he tells himself. </p><p>“He’s lacking a passion,” Ashton says. “He’s good at art, but he messes around too much.” </p><p>“Same with Music,” Michael says. “He’s got a temper on him, too.” </p><p>“Well, maybe I can get him to channel it into football,” Calum says seriously. “Kids need an outlet, and something they feel like they’re good at. He needs something to be proud of.” </p><p>Fuck, Michael thinks, as Ashton enthusiastically responds in kind, staring at Calum as he nods along to whatever Ashton’s saying with a thoughtful frown. He’s definitely in love. </p><p> </p><p>------- </p><p> </p><p>Calum and Michael fall into a bit of a routine. </p><p>They don’t share a lot of free periods together, only the fourth on Monday and second on Thursday, but Michael will wait at the corner of the field for Calum to finish clearing up after his last lesson and they’ll walk to the staff room together, sitting and chatting shit for an hour about nothing in particular. </p><p>Michael learns that Calum’s got a sister, Mali, who’s in the music industry and whom he’s incredibly proud of, and that he’s half-Kiwi, half-Scottish, and grew up in western Sydney, not too far from Michael. He learns that Calum loves dogs more than he loves either bass or football, loves <em> his </em> dog (Duke) more than he loves anything else on the planet, likes playing Fifa and eating ice cream, and that his biggest fear is not having an impact on the world. He learns that Calum genuinely loves teaching, that Noel’s finding his feet with football and he’s really enjoying it, and that Calum almost went professional with football. </p><p>(“Is there anything you <em> aren’t </em> fucking talented at?” Michael says grumpily, when Calum tells him that. Calum laughs. </p><p>“Asking cute boys out,” he says, throwing Michael a grin, and Michael’s stomach flips.) </p><p>And so he also learns that Calum’s gay, and that he’s been single his whole life. </p><p>(“Are you serious? Michael says incredulously. Calum shrugs. </p><p>“I’m not a blushing virgin, Michael,” he says, seeing the look on Michael’s face, and Michael scowls. </p><p>“I didn’t say you were,” Michael says sullenly, but he’s secretly more than a little jealous of these nameless, faceless boys that have had the honour of fucking Calum Hood.) </p><p>Of course, Michael’s not the only one in the school to notice Calum. </p><p>A majority of the girls, and a good number of the boys, sing Calum’s praises to Michael every opportunity they get. He hears them talking in the corridors when Calum breezes past, smiling at them but eyes lighting up when he brushes past Michael (which Michael tries desperately not to think about when he’s staring out of the window daydreaming in the middle of a lesson). The staff are no better, either - Brenda and Caroline have been gossiping about Calum’s muscles so loudly that Michael only half-jokingly threatened to file a sexual harassment suit against them on his behalf. </p><p>One thing that having an incredibly hot PE teacher has done wonders for, though, is school morale. </p><p>It’s the only reason Michael’s standing at the corner of a wet field on a freezing May afternoon, wrapped in a thick coat and scarf and somehow still shivering, huddled between Luke and Ashton, whom he’d bribed-slash-threatened to join him because he didn’t want to be too obvious about it. </p><p>(“Mike, I don’t think you could be less obvious about being in love with Calum if you tried,” Luke had said, rolling his eyes, but then Michael had pulled out his trump card - he’d give Luke his coveted spot in the corner of the staff room - and Luke had agreed to go.) </p><p>“I fucking hate you,” Luke mumbles into the scarf currently covering a good half of his face. “I’m so fucking cold. This is not worth it to get you laid.”</p><p>“Fuck you,” Michael says automatically, eyes on Calum. He’s shouting encouragement and tactics at the Year 12 football team - not that Michael can hear it above the cheers and boos from the rest of the school and their opposition - but he looks so fucking good, brow creased as he focuses on the game. </p><p>“Are there usually this many people at football games?” Ashton asks, looking around in wonder. “There aren’t, are there?”</p><p>“How d’you expect us to know?” Luke asks, exasperated. “We’re not usually at football games either.” </p><p>“We’re being good friends,” Ashton tells Luke, a little sternly, and Luke huffs, but doesn’t say anything else. </p><p>Their team scores, and the crowd erupts into cheers, because it’s now only two minutes until the end of the game and they’re two-one up, so it’s unlikely the result will change. Calum still looks determined, though, muttering something to Ben, the Year 12 captain, who nods and jogs back across the bitch to prepare for the kick-off. </p><p>“I hate this,” Luke whines after a minute, because that’s apparently as long as he can keep quiet without reminding everyone how miserable he is. “This is why I’m a Maths teacher.” </p><p>“Shut up,” Michael says, and then the final whistle blows and Calum’s face is finally relaxing, tension dissipating from his posture as he cheers with the rest of the crowd. </p><p>“Calum looks really good tonight,” Ashton says, sending a glance in Michael’s direction.</p><p>“Alright, fuck me, I guess,” Luke grumbles. Ashton rolls his eyes. </p><p>“You’re such a fucking bitch sometimes,” he says, but he looks around furtively before snaking his arm around Luke’s waist and giving it a quick squeeze. </p><p>“Everyone knows you’re fucking,” Michael comments, still staring at Calum. “You don’t have to be sly about it.” </p><p>“No they don’t,” Luke says, leaning into Ashton’s touch. </p><p>“Yes, they do,” Michael says, and then he forgets what he was going to say next because Calum makes eye contact with him from across the pitch and gives him a huge grin, and Michael’s stomach bottoms out. “Fuck, he’s grinning at me.” </p><p>“Well, grin back, idiot,” Ashton says, so Michael does. Calum holds his gaze for a moment, and then turns back to his team, leaving Michael feeling a little unsteady. </p><p>“I’m in love,” he declares, for the nintieth time that week. </p><p>“We know,” Luke says grumpily. </p><p> </p><p>------- </p><p> </p><p>Michael’s halfway through marking 8A’s elements of music test when there’s a knock at the door. He looks up, expecting to see Luke or Ashton, not Calum. He looks out of place in his football kit in the music room, and Michael’s brain short-circuits as it tries to reconcile a hot man in Michael’s music room. </p><p>“Hey,” he says, sticking his head around the door. “Am I disturbing you?”</p><p>“No,” Michael says, because Calum could walk in on him taking a shit and wouldn’t be disturbing him. “What’s up?” Calum steps into the room, clicking the door shut behind him, and throws himself down on a seat opposite Michael’s desk.</p><p>“So,” he says. “You know All Time Low are here next weekend?” Michael nods. He’s planning on going with Luke and Ashton. “I might have got two tickets to Sunday night.” </p><p>“That’s sick,” Michael enthuses. “Who are you going with?” Calum throws Michael an odd look, somewhere between exasperation and amusement. </p><p>“Well, I was hoping you’d want to come?” he says. Michael blinks. </p><p>“Me?” he says. </p><p>“Yeah,” Calum says, and there’s definitely a hint of amusement in his tone now. </p><p>“I, uh.” Michael’s not really sure how to speak without saying <em> yes, please, and please let me suck your dick while I’m at it</em>. He swallows, hoping it’ll make the words disappear from the tip of his tongue. “I’d fucking love to.” Calum grins, looking relieved, and Michael realises that he must have been <em> nervous </em> . Something about that sends a thrill coursing through his veins - he’d made Calum <em> nervous</em>, somehow. </p><p>“Sweet,” he says happily. “Text me your address? I’ll pick you up at five.” Michael just nods, not really trusting himself to speak, and Calum pulls himself up out of the chair, throwing him one last smile before he leaves the room. </p><p>Fuck, Michael thinks, as the door swings shut behind Calum, pulling his phone out to Google <em> how to fall out of love with a colleague</em>. </p><p>(It doesn’t help him at all.) </p><p> </p><p>------- </p><p> </p><p>Next Sunday comes around faster than Michael had expected, given how much he’s been thinking about it. </p><p>Luke and Ashton had been a little incensed when he’d told them he was no longer going with them but with Calum.</p><p>(“What?” Luke had said crossly. “Michael, you already <em> bought </em> your ticket.” </p><p>“Yeah, but it’s a choice between third-wheeling you or one-on-one time with the love of my life,” Michael says dramatically. “What do you expect me to choose?”) </p><p>At five to five, Michael’s sat in his living room, leg jiggling nervously as he checks his phone every two milliseconds just in case he’s somehow missed a notification from Calum in the time it’s taken him to blink. </p><p>Calum, though, doesn’t even text to say he’s arrived, just rings the doorbell at five on the dot, scaring Michael shitless. </p><p>“Hi,” Calum says, smiling, when Michael opens the door. He’s wearing a Nine Inch Nails shirt and straight-leg blue jeans, which should look incredibly nineties and not good at all, but somehow makes Michael want to drop to his knees right there and then. Although, he supposes, that’s what Michael wants to do regardless of what Calum is wearing, so it’s probably nothing to do with that. “You look gorgeous.” Michael has to bite his cheek to check whether he’s still alive and not, like, ascended to heaven.</p><p>“Thanks,” Michael mumbles when his mouth floods with pain and it becomes clear that yes, he is actually still alive, feeling heat rise to his cheeks from the sheer intimacy of this moment with a colleague-slash-friend-slash-soulmate-but-he-doesn’t-know-it. He’s so used to seeing Calum in the context of school that it feels strange to see him in normal clothes, standing on Michael’s doorstep. </p><p>“Are you ready, or, like, d’you want me to stand here all evening?” Calum says after a moment, and Michael steps out of the house with a scowl. </p><p>“Fuck you,” he says, trailing behind Calum as they walk to his car. </p><p>“Maybe if you’re lucky,” Calum says, and Michael chokes on his next breath. Calum, however, doesn’t seem to notice, as he’s getting into the car and starting the engine. Michael takes the opportunity to splutter for a second, re-learning how to breathe for the first time in twenty-five years, and takes a deep breath before getting in the passenger side of the car. </p><p>“What d’you reckon’s going to be on the set list?” Calum asks, reversing out of Michael’s driveway and setting off down the street. Michael hums in consideration. </p><p>“Aside from the obvious?” he says. </p><p>“No, Michael, tell me that Dear Maria’s going to be on the set list,” Calum says sarcastically. Michael scowls. </p><p>“I’d punch you if you weren’t driving,” he tells Calum, and Michael sees him grin in the dim light. </p><p>“I’ve found my shield,” Calum says, running a stop sign. Michael squawks as they swerve into the road, grabbing onto the handle on the door. Calum rolls his eyes. “Don’t be so dramatic, I’ve seen how you drive.” </p><p>“Fuck off,” Michael says, scowling, but he can’t deny it. Speed is more important than safety, is his motto - mainly because he always sets off at least ten minutes late. </p><p>“So?” Calum prompts. “Set list?” </p><p>“I hope Monsters,” Michael says. “But honestly? I’d love some of the older stuff on there too.” </p><p>“Yeah, I miss Stella being on the set list,” Calum says wistfully. </p><p>“You saw them when Stella was on the set list?” </p><p>“Yeah,” Calum says, a tad smug, and okay, fuck him. </p><p>“Fuck,” Michael says, and he can’t even disguise the envy in his voice. Calum just laughs, throwing Michael a glance, and his eyes are glittering in the sunset, making Michael’s heart hurt a little bit. “You don’t deserve that.” </p><p>“Hey,” Calum says, aiming for affronted, but he’s still grinning. “Don’t antagonise the driver.” </p><p>“I can antagonise you all I want,” Michael says. “You’re not going to kill us on the way to an All Time Low gig.” </p><p>“Might kill us on the way back, though,” Calum points out.</p><p>“Yeah, well, I can probably die happy, then,” Michael says, with a shrug. </p><p>“True,” Calum agrees. “Good music, pretty boy in the passenger seat, what more could you want?” </p><p>“Exactly,” Michael says emphatically, and it takes him until Calum’s started talking about the merits of Nothing Personal as compared to Don’t Panic to realise what Calum had just said. </p><p><em> Michael’s </em> in the passenger seat.</p><p> </p><p>------- </p><p> </p><p>The show, as expected, is amazing. </p><p>Michael’s seen All Time Low, like, five times now, and they never fail to disappoint. He voices as such to Calum on the way home, running on a high of adrenaline and having seen Calum jumping in the pit, screaming the lyrics to every single song, which had only made Michael’s whole being-in-love-with-the-hot-PE-teacher situation a little more difficult to handle. </p><p>“Right?” Calum enthuses, speeding along the almost-empty highway. “I’ve heard it so many times, but Therapy live just hits different.” </p><p>“God, I know,” Michael groans, tipping his head back and closing his eyes, letting the memory flash in front of his eyes. “I actually heard the full band version live, once.” </p><p>“Yeah?” Calum asks, a tinge of envy in his voice. Michael savours the moment. </p><p>“Yeah,” he says, a touch smugly. “It was fucking sick.” </p><p>“I can imagine,” Calum says. “I told Alex that they should play it like that tonight, but-” </p><p>“Hang on,” Michael says, cutting Calum off, because he cannot be understanding this correctly. “Alex who?” Calum suddenly looks a little guilty. </p><p>“Uh,” he says. </p><p>“Alex who, Calum?” </p><p>“Gaskarth?” Calum offers after a moment, and Michael gapes at him. </p><p>“You know Alex Gaskarth?” </p><p>“Well, y’know, I used to be in a band, and we opened for All Time Low, and-” </p><p>“You <em> opened </em> for <em> All Time Low</em>?” Michael asks. Calum chews on his bottom lip. </p><p>“Yeah,” he says. “I’m- look, I’m sorry for not telling you, okay? I got the tickets through Alex, but I thought if I told you you might just want to go for them, like, you wouldn’t get it, and-” </p><p>“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me you know All Time Low,” Michael huffs, sinking down in his seat. Calum throws him a worried look, so Michael adds: “I knew there was a reason I kept you around,” which makes Calum smile as he turns into Michael’s road. </p><p>“Fuck you,” he says, but the concern is fading from his face as he parks on the road by Michael’s house this time. They both get out of the car, and then Michael hovers awkwardly by the little path that leads to his house. </p><p>“You’re a traitor,” he says, when Calum rounds the corner of his car and comes to stand opposite Michael. He’s lit up in the orange light of the streetlights, dark brown hair surrounded by a halo of amber, and Michael doesn’t think he’s seen a prettier sight in his life.</p><p>“I had to make sure you were coming for <em> me</em>,” Calum protests, a smile playing at his lips. Michael blinks at him. </p><p>“What do you mean?” he says, nonplussed. </p><p>“Well, y’know,” Calum says, shrugging. </p><p>“I don’t know,” Michael says. Calum looks at him oddly. </p><p>“Wait,” he says. “You...you know this was a date, right?” Michael gapes at him. </p><p>“Are you- wait, what?” Calum’s face falls, and he takes a step back, and no, no, no, that’s not what Michael wants. “Wait, no, I-” </p><p>“Fuck,” Calum says, laughing uncomfortably as he cards a hand through his hair. “I probably should have made it clearer, huh? I did say I was bad at asking out cute boys.” </p><p>“<em>Me</em>?” Michael’s voice is a good three octaves higher than usual. “You think <em> I’m </em> cute?” Calum smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. </p><p>“Michael, I’ve been flirting with you since, like, the minute I saw you,” he says. </p><p>“You have?” </p><p>“Jesus Christ,” Calum mutters, and then seems to pull himself together. “Look, I’m sorry if I, like, overstepped, made things uncomfortable, whatever. I’m happy to keep it professional, and-” he cuts himself off when Michael laughs. “What?” he says, and it comes out snappy. </p><p>“Are you serious?” Michael says, and he’s grinning now, so much he thinks he probably looks a little creepy. </p><p>“You’re kind of being a dickhead, now, you know that?” Calum says, a little sharply. </p><p>“No, Calum, I- fucking hell,” Michael says, and a bubble of manic laughter escapes from him. “I’ve been kind of in love with you since, like, before we met.” Calum looks at him for a moment, expression unreadable</p><p>“<em>Before</em> we met?” Calum asks carefully. </p><p>“Yeah,” Michael says, nodding. “10C pointed you out, in first period, and I kind of stared at you for half the lesson.” Calum says nothing for a moment, just keeps looking at Michael, and it’s starting to get a little unnerving, when-</p><p>“Oh,” Calum says, and a small smile is creeping onto his face. “You- wait, so, like, I didn’t misread it? You do like me?” </p><p>“I mean, I did just say I was kind of in love with you, but sure, I like you," Michael says, and Calum grins, lit up by the streetlights and his happiness, and Michael thinks he’s found space in his heart that he didn’t even know he had since meeting Calum. </p><p>“So,” Calum says. “This was a date?”</p><p>“This was definitely a date,” Michael agrees, feeling his stomach flip pleasantly at the words. </p><p>“Would it be cliché to kiss you goodnight?” Calum asks, and Michael grins. </p><p>“Definitely,” he says, “but I’ll kill you if you don’t.” Calum grins back, and takes two steps forward to close the space between them, bringing a hand to Michael’s jaw and pressing his lips to Michael’s gently. It’s chaste, sweet, slow, languid, and Calum kisses like Michael’s the only thing that matters in the world. He smells like mint and pine and vanilla, pressed close to Michael’s chest, slipping an arm around Michael’s waist, and Michael groans into the kiss as he thinks about Calum’s long fingers splayed across the small of his back. </p><p>“Too much?” Calum asks, breaking away, and Michael shakes his head, pressing his forehead against Calum’s shoulder. </p><p>“Not enough,” he says, because he doesn’t think he’s ever going to get enough of Calum Hood. Calum pulls him in for a proper hug, pressing a soft kiss to his temple, and Michael’s glad Calum’s got strong arms because he feels like his knees are about to give in. </p><p>“Do you want to come in?” he mumbles against Calum’s shoulder. </p><p>“Is that a proposition?” Calum says, smile evident in his voice. </p><p>“Do you want it to be?”</p><p>“Maybe.” Michael swallows. Jesus Christ. </p><p>“Then it is.” Calum pulls back and looks at Michael, suddenly serious. </p><p>“Hey,” he says. “This isn’t- this isn’t just sex for me. I really like you, Michael. If you don’t want to, that’s okay. I want something more with you.” Michael grins. </p><p>“Have I got to repeat the whole ‘kind of in love with you’ thing again?” he says, and Calum grins back. </p><p>“Alright,” he says, and Michael hears his car squeaking to indicate it’s locked. “You’re making the excuses when we turn up to school tomorrow, though.” </p><p> </p><p>-------</p><p> </p><p>A few students give them strange looks when they get out of Michael’s car in the morning. </p><p>“Is this seriously the sportiest thing you own?” Calum grumbles for the fiftieth time, picking at the green hoodie and black jogging bottoms that Michael had chucked at him that morning. </p><p>“Quit complaining,” Michael says, locking the car behind them and starting across the car park to the school. “Green’s your colour.” </p><p>“Oh, <em> that’s </em> why you picked it,” Calum says, jogging a little to catch up with Michael. </p><p>“Yeah,” Michael says with a grin, unashamed. Calum shakes his head, but he’s grinning too. </p><p>“I’d kiss you right now if I could,” he says, as they turn into the building. </p><p>“What’s stopping you?” Michael asks, as they make their way up the stairs to the staff room. </p><p>“Uh, code of conduct? The contract I signed when I joined the school?” Michael rolls his eyes as he pushes open the door to the staff room. </p><p>“Morning!” he chirps, heading straight for the desk Luke and Ashton are already sat at, Calum in his wake. </p><p>“Morning!” a few people in the room chorus over the general buzz of post-weekend chatter. </p><p>“Hey,” Luke says loudly, frowning. “Why’s Calum wearing your clothes?” </p><p>The room goes still, and Michael just grins. </p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>